IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
From Little Rock, Arkansas
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce".
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
He was a Chef?
Yep...From Austin, Texas.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham, Alabama.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"
She was a probation officer in Huston, Texas.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker.
She was leaving the company due to "downsizing."
Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often."
Not another word was spoken.
We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why her system
would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office no less.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
"Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!"
His reply, "I know - I already got that side."
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi.
STAY ALERT!
They walk among us ... and they REPRODUCE !!!
I live in Arkansas....and I know a guy who got a DWI on a riding lawnmower. Yes, it's possible. He's proud of it too.
I live in North Carolina and know a guy who got a DWI on a horse.
These were good!!
idiot sighting:
I told a generator mechanic yesterday that my generator stopped running and there is fuel everywhere i think one of the fuel lines came undone and his reply did you put fuel in it generators tend to stop running if there isnt any fuel.
They are definitely everywhere!!!!!
Yep. Scary, ain't it? LOL.
Upon arriving in the south, I was told by a very sociable fellow that dinosaurs couldn't really be millions of years old because the earth was only as old as the bible said, say 5900 years.
His explanation of the discrepancy?
"They're hoaxes." All scientific explanations aside, I told him that as a child I'd seen a clever 135 foot hoaxed brontosaurus next to a 35 foot hoaxed Tyrannosaurus Rex in the Museum of Natural History in NYC.
It's truly sad when an educator misuses a given trust, but that's why no matter where one goes in the world, everyone has something derogatory to say about the south.
Another fella said he was a dyed-in-the-wool redneck, I think he was funnin' me. His wife wanted to know when I'd be going back to Italian land. I replied, that my distant ancestor had discovered this country, and when would he and all of his redneck buddies be going back to where-ever they had come from!
The sheriff's office in Alamance County, North Carolina tried everything to stop people from using fake IDs to get driver's licences, but to no avail. Fed up, one sheriff's deputy concocted an ingeneuos plan. He marched into the Dept. of Motor Vehicles waiting room and asked everyone "with false IDs pls step forward." Six did.
hahaha...hey guys, did you ever think that without these people, life would be boring?
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